So, I’m a bit antsy and excited about tonight.  Why?  Well, for the first time since December, I’m going on a date.  I know, right?  It’s exciting!  I consumed myself with school and desperately trying to bring my grades back up that I didn’t even think about dating or trying to develop a relationship.  Plus, I was still getting over a few things with my previous relationship that I’m not going to discuss here because, quite frankly, it’s in the past and I’m moving on with the present.

I’ll admit that I’m a tiny bit nervous.  Why am I nervous?  Well, a few reasons honestly.  First of all, I’m really not used to attractive men being attracted to me.  I’ve got this silly little fear of him seeing me for the first time in person and going “oh, well, you were cuter in your pictures.  I have to go now.”  It’s happened before, but, you know, everything happens for a reason.  It’s still a silly little fear though.  I’m also nervous about how I am when I’m on a date.  I get all jittery and all those butterflies flitting about in my tummy make me giggle and do other silly shit that I hope my date wouldn’t mind.

But, I don’t think I need to be scared.  I’m really excited about this date.  He seems different and he’s not terrified of the fact that I openly discuss adult things and review adult products.  And I realized that we’ve shared almost 300 text messages in the past three days.  And, much to my surprise, I did not meet him through any site related to kink.  It will definitely be interesting to see where this all goes and what happens tonight.  For the first time since December I’m smiling with a silly grin whenever he sends me a text message or an instant message.  He also read what I had to say here over the past week and, you know, that means a lot to me.  It showed me that he is taking an interest in me and what goes through my mind and that this isn’t just a “get laid quick” thing.

He’s definitely different than what I’m used to and I am definitely so very excited to see where tonight goes.